Tuesday, April 23, 2013

In a parallel universe...

I like to play the what if game. It’s possibly one of my favorite games. I dated a guy who also loved this game and we would have the best discussions. How would things be different if someone made a slightly different choice along the way? We could totally be living in a parallel universe with completely different lives!

I really believe in “meant to be.” I freely and emphatically use that phrase throughout my life. But I don’t believe in “destiny.” In my mind, they are very different. I think it has to do choices. Meant-to-be focuses on the choices we made along the way that results in a certain place, whereas destiny focuses on where we end up, regardless of which choices we made. If it’s destiny, we could have done A, B, and C or E, F, and G and ended up with the same results, either way. Meant-to-be means we chose A, B, and C and got D as a result. But we could have chosen E, F, and G and ended up H and still have been happy. Or maybe not happy. That is the beauty of meant-to-be, we will never know the other options! It’s so exciting!

I recently talked with a friend who is getting very serious with her man. I’m pleased to report that I set them up! (As a side note, I love playing match-maker. If I could make a career out of it, I would!) We marvelled at how meant-to-be their relationship is. What if I had moved into a different ward? What if I had a different home teacher? What if I hadn't broken up with my boyfriend and needed someone to listen to my whining? What if she had moved into my ward like she had originally planned? Would they still have gotten together or would they have completely missed each other because they weren't ready to meet?
I guess my point is we can date and practice dating all that we want. We can go on one date a year or three dates every weekend. We can wonder what we are doing wrong and try to become better. But when it’s meant-to-be, it’s meant-to-be. Nothing can prepare us for meant-to-bes. Meant-to-bes just catch us completely off-guard and it’s only when they are over that we realize how meant-to-be they really were.

I think that’s what people mean when they say, “Oh, you’ll get married when you aren’t looking for it.” That is a lie. If that were true, I would have been married when I was 21. I think what they mean is, “You’ll find The One is a way you weren’t ready for because it will be meant-to-be.”

So don't worry when you feel like you just messed things up with the cute guy at the party because you rambled on about how buffet is a terrible word and he kept staring at your like, "Why am I talking to this lunatic when there is a cuter girl over by the cookies?" The meant-to-be will come along, someday.

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