Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Do Unto Others

Here is one of my most fundamental rules when I'm first getting to know a guy. Ready for it?

Do unto them as you would have done unto you.

Sounds a bit familiar, right? Good! Just so you know, I didn't come up with it.

For most of my life, I was brainwashed by chick flick movies that had the same plot: Boy and girl meet. Boy is smitten, girl is not. Boy attempts to woo girl, girl is a total jerk. She often insults him, ignores him, or dates other boys while he watches. Boy keeps trying and eventually, she changes her mind, they fall in love and live happily ever after. (see The Notebook)

Yeah, I'll publicly humiliate you just so you fall  more in love with me!

In real life, this does not happen. If you are mean to a boy, he will stop pursuing you. True story. Guys don't have limitless self-esteem available for every girl to cruelly crush. They hate being rejected just as much as we do. So help a brother out! Here are some of my niceness tips:

-Smile at a boy who looks like he is trying to get the courage to come talk to you. It makes it SO much easier for him.

-Separate yourselves from your girls every so often. It's so intimidating for a guy to call out one girl from a group. Food is my great excuse. If I've been standing with a group of girls for too long, I "get a drink of water" or "grab another cupcake." Throwing away trash is another great excuse. Also, don't be afraid to attend events alone. It forces you to make new friends!

-One thing I like to do is think about how I want to be treated, then do those exact things to him. So, for example, if I'm standing alone at a party, wishing a guy would come over and tell me I look amazing, I find an amazing looking guy and start up a conversation by complimenting him. Or if I just started talking to a guy and I want him to tease me a bit, I start teasing him.

-Flirt, flirt, flirt! In addition to letting him know that you are interested, flirting just makes people more comfortable. It makes them feel special and wanted. Those girls who get asked out on a lot of dates? Yeah, they are master flirters.

-Say yes if he asks he you out. Unless you absolutely know it is completely going no where. Then, the nicest thing to do is say no.

-If you really aren't interested, it is SO mean to lead him on. If you say, "I'm busy this week" or "I have to wash my hair" he might not get the point. Try instead, "That is so nice of you, but I'm not really interested. Thanks so much for thinking of me." It may be awkward, but you are being nice enough to let him move on to a girl who is interested.

What about you friends? Any other tips on how to be nice?

1 comment:

  1. Great advice! Especially the "do unto others" rule. I've been reminding my little brother about this with friends and it still applies in every type of relationship.